Antagonist @ 2012-02-19 04:02
What an abhorrent piece of crap. I vividly remember my first encounter with this cursed thing. It was in 2005, one of my first days after having started playing the game. I still didn't know about clicksaver or whateverhaveyou method of making cash, so I was making money the hard way by looting dead mobs in the subway and totw.
So, as you can imagine, I was pretty happy when I had made my first 50k credits like that. It really felt like an accomplishment and I was so excited that I decided to see if I could buy what I thought would be an awesome vehicle (It's a sci-fi game, the vehicles HAVE to be awesome) to travel through Rubi-Ka with.
I rushed to the store and upon seeing that the almighty Kodaik Turbo (I mean, you gotta see the logic here. If something is called Turbo, surely, it can't be anything but mind-blowingly awesome, right?) was in my price range, I thought to myself: "Damn, Antagonist, little by little, you've made a lot of money if you can afford a vehicle, pat yourself on the back!", and quickly bought it, without the slightest shame of regret for spending all of my hard earned 50k credits in the process.
Once I had it in my inventory I noticed that I needed around 300ish Vehicle Air skills to equip it. Quite a lot for an early TL3 newbie like me, but I didn't care. I quickly pumped all the IP I could into that dark blue skill for it, and once I had enough skill and almost no IP left, I right clicked the vehicle to equip it, and waited for the equip progress bar to load with the innocent, hopeful excitement of a 6 year old going to bed on Christmas eve, looking forward to the joy that the immediate future would bring.
But upon the progress bar having finished loading and my vehicle finally being equipped, in one split second after gazing at my character, all my hopes and dreams suddenly crashed into a billion tiny pieces, for what my eyes have been greeted with did not grant me the joy and satisfaction of the aforementioned child finally opening his Christmas presents. No, it was huge,
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Antagonist @ 2012-02-19 04:03
huge, bitter disappointment that hit me, and somehow the end result of the whole thing I went through felt like what I can only describe as having ordered pizza, expecting pizza, receiving a box with a pizza logo on it, and opening it to find not pizza, but a sweat-drenched, semen-glazed, salty pile of hairy BALLS.
This "car" looks like a SHOE. A motherfucking tiny shoe is what this "vehicle" looks like. Or some sort of futuristic vibrator. Why WHY why WHY why FC? Who the hell came up with the idea to make this thing the size of a goddamn shoe? Are you retarded or just fucking kidding me? Look at this thing, looking all like a futuristic clown car or someshit. Who the hell would want to ride around in this dildomobile, which, by the way, regarding practical purposes, is slow as hell, so the only "Turbo" thing about it is how shitarded it is. Step right up and buy your very own shitty turbodildo retard car! Christ sakes, I can only wonder how this is supposed to be justified through game lore. "The Kockdick Turbo uses nanobot technology generation 11 to shrink the user to the size of a vibrator (trox sized), so you can you can truly experience the feeling of being fucked while fucking yourself while driving". Bah!
tl;dr: balls
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